The demands of anxiety can consume a household. Family members often get pulled into their loved one’s worrying thoughts or repetitive behaviors. Understandably, parents will do anything they can to minimize an anxious child’s distress. Most family members have performed a family accommodation behavior for their anxious child. Family accommodation behavior is a change that an individual makes to their own behavior in effort to alleviate the loved one’s anxiety (e.g., checking the stove for them, cleaning, avoiding something that may make the person uncomfortable, etc.). In addition, family members may also provide reassurance such as trying to convince their loved one that “nothing bad will happen”. Unfortunately, serving as an accomplice to your child’s anxiety or providing constant reassurance will not lead to a reduction in symptoms. In fact, these behaviors will make the anxiety worse. 

Anxiety has a neurobiological basis. Their brain is constantly sending “false alarms,” leading to a persistent feeling of doubt and dread. People with anxiety are not trying to frustrate, upset or overwhelm you or anyone else. Their feeling of worry and fear is overwhelming. The behaviors you see (e.g., avoidance, ruminating, reassurance seeking) are done in an effort to reduce their anxiety.